Lame

So lately I've been feeling really lame.  I was so excited about being a real life adult with a job and my own apartment, paying my own bills and just generally being an awesome and indepent woman.  Don't get me wrong...I love doing what I want to do when I want to do it, spending my own money...doing laundry whenever the heck I feel like it, drinking straight from the milk carton, eating pizza for breakfast and candy for dinner, having no bed time and all that other awesome stuff we all have known adults do our whole lives.  But the longer I am a real life adult which has been for a whole 7 months now, I find myself being more and more lame.  Just the other day, a coworker asked me what plans I had for the weekend....my answer was, "Studying and cleaning my apartment", which seems innocent, except for the fact that it had been my reply every weekend for the past three weeks.  LAME.  Then, yesterday, another coworker asked me if I was going to a concert in Austin that starts at 11:30. My reply was, "OMG that's so late!  Why couldn't they play at like 8?!?"  Wow.  Really?  Did I really say that out loud?  Yes. I absolutely did. LAME.  Not only that...but i'm one of those lame people that is a real life adult, but still has friends that are in undergrad. So i'm the wierd old person. Cool.  But with other real life adults, I feel weird because I don't identify easily.  Either they have families and whatnot, or they are single and like to party.  I do neither because I spend most of my time either at work or at school.  Where do I fit in? Nowhere. I am in this strange and awkward inbetween place.

I find myself missing my old roommates who are off starting on their own adventures and struggling to establish themselves elsewhere.  It's a shame we couldn't have embarked on this incredibly awkward stage of our lives together.  Though I am super happy for them and glad that I can still see them every once in a while.  One is a successful nurse making lots of money and saving people's lives. The other is doing some awesome missions in a foreign country saving people's lives.  The only thing i'm saving is my sick days since I don't really have that many.  Lame. My fear is that I am going to have a really bad midlife crisis because of all this hard work and lameness I am partaking in at such a young age.

But besides all of these things.  I am still happy to be here and I think that even though I feel a little bit out of place sometimes, I still have a lot to look forward to.  And I am starting to find my balance between my undergrad friends and my real life adult friends.  I'm starting to try new things and be out a little later and I try to be cool every once in a while.  I've even been procrastinating like cool people do lately.... baby steps. 

That being said...I need ideas for a halloween costume?  So far the only suggestion I've gotten is to be a hipster. I think that's a stupid idea.  I had an idea to wear a dinosaur costume and a veil and be a bridezilla.  I thought it was funny. Oh well. Time to go to bed before 10 pm. Lame.